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Showing posts from May, 2017

The Problem of Hannah Baker

*Spoilers for 13 Reasons Why ahead*

(This post was revised 5-22-17 after I watched "Beyond the Reasons" on Netflix.)

It's kind of at the tail-end at this point, but a little earlier this spring, people became obsessed with Netflix's new show (based on a novel by Jay Asher, which I read beforehand) called 13 Reasons Why. To sum it up, a highschool student named Hannah Baker has committed suicide and she left behind 13 tapes describing 13 reasons why she did it. The show is primarily from Clay Jensen's point-of-view, a boy who we discover was in love with Hannah but never admitted it. It switches rapidly between flashbacks and current-day, post-suicide issues.

First of all, to properly analyze this story, I will have to first say that the show itself is actually very good. The videography is great, I love the music, the actors are good, it did a great job of expanding past the book's limited plot while still staying true, and expanding on each of the characters…

Do I Want to "Get Well"?

"Get Well" and "Get Well II" by Icon for Hire. I wish I could post both of these songs and call it a day, but that wouldn't say much about my own writing abilities.

These songs are about mental illness. They're so real, they're words I hardly ever hear. I want more of their realness. I've searched for internet posts and found very few. So, I will create one. Here are some lyrics that really hit me, and about which we need to start a conversation.

"Can you find me friends that don't rank me on what I've been through
The more battle scars the more attention it gets you" (Get Well)

These lyrics make my stomach hurt, and that's why they work so well. In high school, there was so much pressure to have the saddest sob story possible. We needed to outdo each other's pain. How can I one-up you? And the thing is, I still see it and I can still feel it. It creates this vicious cycle- the more your pain shows and the more dramatic you…


The word wonder comes from the Old English wundrian, which means "admire, or make wonderful."

It seems to me that people so often trivialize wonder. It's a child's emotion, meaningless in today's world of constant, boring newness. Who has time to waste on being amazed?

Wonder is beautiful. It makes things beautiful. To wonder is literally to make something wonderful. The world is dark, and we are so small, and there is so much chaos. Wonder may seem childish, but it takes a certain kind of bravery to "hold life like a face/ between your palms, a plain face... [and] say, yes, I will take you/ I will love you." (Ellen Bass). Wonder is the thing that opens the cage of your ribs and lets your heart breathe.

I'm a pretty distractable person. I'll cut off the conversation to make sure you see the pink of the sunset. I'll squeal when I see a dog or cat. I'll stop to stare at a flower for a longer time than is probably necessary. I'm easily …

Growing Pains

Life is a process. It's a journey. The only real destination we have is death (and subsequently, unity with God if you're a believer). You will never stop learning and growing, ever.
When I overcame some damaging habits in high school, I thought I had made it.
When I untangled myself from a toxic relationship, I thought okay, now I've made it.
When I volunteered a whole summer at Lake Ellen, I thought yes, finally I've made it. When I got into college and became a legal adult, I thought this is it, I have truly officially made it.
But I haven't made it, there isn't an "it" point to reach where you're finally who you are. There will always be another mountain to climb, but that's not a bad thing. Empty fields get boring after a while, don't they?
Life is all about change. It's all about growth. And even a little bit about death. Every single day you learn something new- even if you're not in school, even if you're not a student, you&#…