Last night at about 11 (which is when all good thoughts happen), I had a revelation.
My whole life, I've been a bit... socially awkward. I think I'm pretty good at hiding it, but for the most part, I'm not very in-tune to what people are going to do or say. I've gotten better over the years, but there's always been that nagging confusion and intimidation by people as a whole.
Finally though, last night, I cracked the code!
I tend to look at life as a massive sociological experiment. I consider people as the "Human Variable," considering there's basically no constant in them. Or so I thought.
I now am the sole guardian of what I call the "Human Equation."
In this equation, we are solving for a, which is the action a certain person will perform at a certain time. It's all very theoretical, but here it is:
a = s[e(p+v+h+f)], where e= environment, p= personality of the subject, v= values of the subject, h= history of the subject, f= feelings of the subject, and s= spontaneity. Spontaneity compensates for the unpredictability of humans and their propensity to change. It is impossible to truly determine what it is.
That may make a lot more sense inside my head and I may be spouting nonsense, but there it is. The Human Equation.
The only foreseeable drawback of this equation is, you have about... oh, one second to process it before the subject reacts.
You could always rely on some wellspring of social know-how that you naturally possess, but most nerds like me can't necessarily do that. So rejoice, hopeless geeks! Rejoice, hapless nerds! Rejoice socially-insecure intellectuals everywhere!
I may be the next Pavlov, the next Freud... or the next wacko. Either way, I stand by my Equation.
Have fun applying it to your everyday life, my fellow awkwardians!
My whole life, I've been a bit... socially awkward. I think I'm pretty good at hiding it, but for the most part, I'm not very in-tune to what people are going to do or say. I've gotten better over the years, but there's always been that nagging confusion and intimidation by people as a whole.
Finally though, last night, I cracked the code!
I tend to look at life as a massive sociological experiment. I consider people as the "Human Variable," considering there's basically no constant in them. Or so I thought.
I now am the sole guardian of what I call the "Human Equation."
In this equation, we are solving for a, which is the action a certain person will perform at a certain time. It's all very theoretical, but here it is:
a = s[e(p+v+h+f)], where e= environment, p= personality of the subject, v= values of the subject, h= history of the subject, f= feelings of the subject, and s= spontaneity. Spontaneity compensates for the unpredictability of humans and their propensity to change. It is impossible to truly determine what it is.
That may make a lot more sense inside my head and I may be spouting nonsense, but there it is. The Human Equation.
The only foreseeable drawback of this equation is, you have about... oh, one second to process it before the subject reacts.
You could always rely on some wellspring of social know-how that you naturally possess, but most nerds like me can't necessarily do that. So rejoice, hopeless geeks! Rejoice, hapless nerds! Rejoice socially-insecure intellectuals everywhere!
I may be the next Pavlov, the next Freud... or the next wacko. Either way, I stand by my Equation.
Have fun applying it to your everyday life, my fellow awkwardians!
