I am... blessed... with the ability of many, many phobias, one of the worst being Vespephobia. That's the fear of wasps.
So let me tell you the nightmarish occurrence that just occurred.
I was inside, minding my business, watching MTV like someone who's extremely bored, when I look up... and there's a big, fat wasp there.
You may be thinking "just kill it, it's just a wasp."
WRONG.
It is terror in the form of a small, insectoid, exoskeletal bundle of yellow and black.
LOOK AT IT. Just looking this picture up made me shudder.
Anyway, I froze. Then, like any other teenager my age... I posted it to Facebook. I got some likes and suggestions of what to do, but I just texted my mom (I was home alone, to make matters worse).
Eventually I couldn't stand crouching on the opposite side of the room from the beast, and I took the dogs and cat and remotes and ran outside. I ended up watching the TV from the window, sitting on the lawn and making sure my cat didn't run off.
After about a whole episode of waiting for my mom to come home, I decided to be brave. I brought the animals inside. The wasp, at this point, was lazily flitting about on the screen of one of the open windows in my living room. I snuck up to close the window on it, but it made a go at me so I dashed away in fear.
After another few minutes of steeling my nerves, I ran up and slammed the window shut. The wasp got mad.
I was so joyous, I could leave it there to die! But no, I needed revenge.
Grabbing a bottle of random cleaner from under the sink, I went outside and sprayed through the screen at the demon until it stopped squirming.
Finally.
I had won.
And I posted it all on Facebook.
So let me tell you the nightmarish occurrence that just occurred.
I was inside, minding my business, watching MTV like someone who's extremely bored, when I look up... and there's a big, fat wasp there.
You may be thinking "just kill it, it's just a wasp."
WRONG.
It is terror in the form of a small, insectoid, exoskeletal bundle of yellow and black.
LOOK AT IT. Just looking this picture up made me shudder.
Anyway, I froze. Then, like any other teenager my age... I posted it to Facebook. I got some likes and suggestions of what to do, but I just texted my mom (I was home alone, to make matters worse).
Eventually I couldn't stand crouching on the opposite side of the room from the beast, and I took the dogs and cat and remotes and ran outside. I ended up watching the TV from the window, sitting on the lawn and making sure my cat didn't run off.
After about a whole episode of waiting for my mom to come home, I decided to be brave. I brought the animals inside. The wasp, at this point, was lazily flitting about on the screen of one of the open windows in my living room. I snuck up to close the window on it, but it made a go at me so I dashed away in fear.
After another few minutes of steeling my nerves, I ran up and slammed the window shut. The wasp got mad.
I was so joyous, I could leave it there to die! But no, I needed revenge.
Grabbing a bottle of random cleaner from under the sink, I went outside and sprayed through the screen at the demon until it stopped squirming.
Finally.
I had won.
And I posted it all on Facebook.
